Square Peg in a Square Hole

In a land of round blocks, our hero was the only square. Here, all sentient shapes were birthed by big machines in a big factory. Largely, their products were intended to be uniform, besides those happy faces printed on the one flat side. Our hero, however, was created unintentionally. Two globs of clay got stuck together, and in the cooking process ended up turning two round blocks into a rectangular one, with a face on both ends.

For some time, the two faces fought over which was in charge. The round blocks with one face had no trouble deciding which direction to roll. But the square one was indecisive. When one face rolled one way, the other one rolled another. They were seen as unfocused and unproductive. While the other blocks rolled around all day completing their daily tasks, our square hero stayed at home, crying a lot and feeling sorry for themself.

One day, the pieces inside our hero's head fit together right, and the two faces learned to cooperate. Not only did they go on to complete all their daily tasks, rolling around collecting money to spend on frivolous things (such was life in the land of blockheads), but they did so at a much brisker pace than any of their peers. Some were proud of the one they once thought was worthless. Others resented the fact that they were more efficient than themselves. 

On a night just like any other, while our hero rested from a long day of buying merchandise, several of the rougher blocks from the neighborhood broke into his home and sanded off one of our hero's faces. After the assailants left them alone, they mourned. While their mind might’ve been a little less wild, they were nearly unrecognizable to who they once were. But after some thought, our block accepted their new identity. And slept peacefully, despite the pain.

Afterward, the block's productivity was largely unaffected. Sure, they were not as swift as they once were, but they worked twice as hard to make up the difference, which made the rougher shapes furious.

Now generally, it was a block's main goal in life to become part of the wall. Once it made enough money to buy everything it was supposed to buy, it had the duty to roll over to one of the great holes carved by its ancestors and join its brethren in eternity. It was the proudest moment of a block's life, and the climax to a proper life. Not all the blocks made it, though. Some decided that their main goal was to keep collecting money and buy everything there was to buy... then do it again. Others never rolled around at all, choosing to sit at home and sleep forever instead. But if you were a block that stuck to societal customs, the wall was your eventual destination.

And our hero was certainly a block that valued those customs, whatever difficulties they had. So once they had finally done everything they were supposed to, they went to fill their hole. But when they tried to squeeze in, they realized they couldn’t fit! The hole was cut for a round block, not a square one!

They rushed home and grabbed a belt sander. Our hero whittled down their body to be the shape they were expected to be. But when they rolled back down the street, they realized their body was reforming. In just a few minutes, they were square again! Mad, they tried to whittle themself again. But it was pointless. They couldn’t lose the edges for more than a few moments.

But then, there was an idea. They took the sander along to the Great Wall. Then, found the hole that suited them most, and started whittling the hole itself. This was far more difficult than the other way around, but this would be permanent. They worked ceaselessly, day and night, until eventually, the hole was the perfect size.

Right as they started to slide into place, however, the leader of the gang of rough shapes forced our hero back out of the wall. The jealous block tried to knock them off the scaffolding holding them several stories up the wall but was unsuccessful. The villain fell off himself and broke to pieces on the concrete below.

So in the end, our hero carved their own place. And whenever young blocks looked to the sky and saw all those great blocks that came before, the one that inspired them the most was the single square who went their own way. Some of those future blocks disgraced our hero for disrespecting the natural order of things. But you'll get that.

by: liquid jake